Mister Brisbane: (I'm) Stranded
Cancelled cruises, learnings from love lines, and hate ain't great
I had this wonderful idea that I would celebrate my birthday this year on the high seas. That’s not going to happen. I’ve now had two cruises cancelled from under me, and things are not looking great for the third, which was to be my Christmas treat.
Now, I know a lot of people connect cruising with COVID because of the Ruby Princess debacle. But I don’t see why it can’t restart now under strict conditions — fewer but fully vaccinated passengers, mask wearing in the theatre, spaced seating in the restaurants, and a heightened insistence on good hand hygiene.
Obviously those in positions of power disagree with me. Or, as a friend suggested, it may just be that the cruise companies don’t have the lobbying heft of organisations such as the NRL.
Until cruising gets the all-clear, it’s not just the cruise lines and their passengers who are missing out. Brisbane has a brand-new cruise terminal that has never been used. When it begins to operate it will employ people in service, administration and maintenance roles. It will also be a source of income for local businesses, including transport and tourist operators and those that can supply goods and services to the cruise companies and their staff.
So, while this is mainly about me wanting to get back onboard and enjoy one of my favourite travel experiences, it’s also about helping the Brisbane economy.
Tune in to the Mister Brisbane radio show on Reading Radio at 1296AM and on DAB+ in Brisbane at 6.30pm on Tuesday nights. It’s also available as a podcast. Just search for “Mister Brisbane” on your favourite player or follow this link.
IT’S A CRIME
I was extremely disappointed last week to discover that my neighbourhood shop was boarded up. According to a sign posted by the owner, it was broken into by young people who smashed through the front door, stole food and “had a party” on the premises. CCTV cameras captured footage of the alleged offenders and they now have a court date. I know it’s easy to have a knee-jerk “lock ’em up” attitude to youth crime, but it’s also easy to be too forgiving for bad behaviour. How do we, as a society, deal with this problem?
LOVE LINES
At the risk of seeming obsessed, I’m going to share some more of my “learnings” from online dating profiles. Rather than opening gambits, this time I’m focusing on profile descriptions. Here are some of my favourites:
“Here to find someone to raise a dog with. Not looking for faint-hearted men. Text me if you’re good vibes, authentic and have a secure attachment style.”
“Chatty, funny and open to suggestion. Don’t travel the world to find me. Travel with me ;) Lover of good wine, bad jokes and mediocre conversations.”
“I give great hugs and I’m an excellent source of heat when cuddling.”
“I’m easy going, cheerful, romantic and sweet lady with strong life position. I’m caring, attentive and loving. Dream to meet decent man and melt in him till the last drop.”
“Don’t need a guy, that blows hot and cold. Need a man, who is warm and affectionate. Too much to ask?”
The other big lesson I’ve just learned is to read the terms and conditions thoroughly before you sign up. With one well-known dating site, I thought I’d just committed to a three-month membership at a fixed price. Turns out that I’d signed up for a year and despite cancelling the service within a couple of weeks, because it was clearly not for me, I still have three more instalments to pay. One lives and learns ..
TOUGH CHOICE
If you had the choice, would you be rich, famous or powerful? The reason I ask is that I recently had the opportunity to observe at relatively close quarters a person who was all three of these things, and I decided it was an ugly combination. I then wondered whether any of these attributes were worthwhile if they simply enabled you to be a terrible person.
FINDING PHIL
I’ve written about how some mates and I used to go to the America’s Cup bar at the Brisbane Hilton in the late 1980s to have a few beers and listen to Phil Hollett play piano. Andrew has contacted me, wanting to know whether Phil is still playing around Brisbane. He says he was in a band with Phil in 1982 and is trying to catch-up with him. Can anyone help?
SAYING IT RIGHT
Not that Salisbury
Last week, I heard my colleague Spencer Howson pronounce the suburb of Salisbury as “Sulls-berry”. I’ve always said “Sawls-berry” — and I fired off a tweet to that effect. It created a small flurry, with MP Anita Wells noting that there is a similar debate over Taigum: is it “Tie-gum” or “Tay-gum”? The jury is still out on that one, with even the residents not in agreement.
Geraldine says: “Spencer has some pronunciation quirks that sound like they might be a vestige of his English background. Like pronouncing want as ‘wunt’. Perhaps check how his parents pronounced Salisbury (but clearly Sawls-bury is correct here!)” Blair simply says: “He [Spencer] is wrong, you are correct.” And Matt says: “It’s the latter [Sawls-berry], former is utter nonsense and good luck calling it that around a local.”
My own theory is that we are adopting “posher” pronunciations as suburbs become gentrified and younger people turn their back on the broad Australia accent.
FEEDBACK
On the topic of “essential” Brisbane events, Joker says: “… the fairy garden/LED display at Roma St parklands over December/January is our annual go-to event, gotta be quick to snaffle tickets though.” Drano says: “I’d suggest the Brisbane to Gladstone yacht race. However, growing up in the Redlands, I’d not heard of it — until I moved to Gladstone.”
Denise has a general comment on last week’s newsletter: “Fascinating information as always.” I’m blushing.
And Hugh in Glasgow notes in response to the Paul McCartney anecdote: “Mull and the Mull of Kintyre are two different places. Anyway, like your newsletter even though I know nothing about Brisbane.”