Mister Brisbane: North v South | Amanda's album | Alcohol limit | Man drought? | Cruise control
Delivered on a Tuesday, but remains fresh all week
This week I’m asking the big questions: Which side of the city is best? When is “live” not live? How much alcohol, in floorspace, is too much? Is coronovirus a cruise-killer? Am I looking for love in all the wrong places?
IS THE CIVIL WAR OVER?
Northside or southside? There is only one correct answer. But, of course, that depends on where you come from. When I was a boy, the side of the Brisbane River on which you were born could determine the path you took in life. These days, the city is far more connected than it used to be. But the South East Freeway (now part of the M1) wasn’t finished until 1972, and, until 1978, the nearest cross-river rail link to the CBD was the Walter Taylor Bridge at Indooroopilly. Trains from Sydney terminated at South Brisbane. To a Northsider like me, the southern suburbs were not only remote, they were also dangerous. You drove through them, at your peril, once a year because that was the only way to get to the Gold Coast. Or you braved a trip for a sporting fixture into the badlands, hoping to emerge in one piece. Things really only began to change with the opening of QPAC, the Cultural Centre and World Expo 1988, which were located in “enemy” territory. The CityCat ferries that criss-crossed from one side to the other also stopped the river from being seen as a barrier and more as a corridor. I now longer hesitate to go to the southside, but I do wonder: is northside-southside rivalry still a thing?
ALL FIRED UP
As I write this, I am listening to my latest purchase: Amanda Palmer & Friends: Forty-Five Degrees - A Bushfire Charity Flash Record. With help from Missy Higgins, Montaigne, Fred Leone, Jherek Bischoff, Brian Viglione and Clare Bowditch, Palmer interprets some classics (including Midnight Oils’ Beds Are Burning and Truganini, Ted Egan’s The Drover’s Boy, and Goanna’s Solid Rock), puts a chilling spin on My Favourite Things and contributes a new song, Suck it Up, Buttercup. You can buy it here and, like me, you can opt to pay more than the suggested price. It all goes to the Firesticks Alliance.
BOOZE BAN IN THE BURBS
I had occasion to purchase some takeaway beverages the other day and fell into conversation with a very pleasant young man serving at my local BWS. The bottlo has just reopened after renovations, so I asked him whether they’d considered expanding into the empty shop next door. He told me that this wasn’t possible because there’s a legal restriction in Queensland on the size of bottle shops located away from the “mother” pub. Thanks to Google, I discovered that these outlets can have a maximum size of 150 square metres. I’m not sure why that is, or whether this rule contributes to the common good. But, then again, I can’t understand why booze isn’t sold in supermarkets (especially when many pubs are owned by the supermarket giants).
ALIVE AND KICKING
Over on social media, I’ve been a little vocal about the true meaning of the word “live” when it comes to television. Without going into too much detail, many programs promoted as being live are shown in real time only in New South Wales and Victoria. Elsewhere they are time-shifted. So, during summer, Brisbane is one hour out of step (except when it comes to sport, which even the most-grasping commercial networks wouldn’t dare delay). Anyway, I have confirmed with SBS that its first-ever live coverage of Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras will, in fact, be live. If you’re up for watching it, rest assured that you’ll be watching it as it happens and seeing it at the same time as everybody else. That means you can use social media without fear of spoilers. Details are here.
P.S. On the subject of television, how do we think the new MasterChef series will farewhen the contestants (especially Poh Ling Yeow) are better known than the judges?
CRUISE NEWS
I’ve signed up to a lot of cruise sites, so I get a lot of email about bargain sailings. But last week, for the first time, I received a phone call from a cruise salesperson. My new best friend, Paul, is very keen for me to take advantage of the very special offers – free drinks and Wi-Fi access – from Princess Cruises. Yes, Princess, the company that operates the Diamond Princess, which was docked in Yokohama for a few weeks to see whether its quarantined passengers suffered from the coronavirus COVID-19. Sadly, many of them did and, at the time of writing, two elderly passengers have died. That’s not the kind of publicity that any business wants. Will I be taking up Paul’s kind offer of a discount cruise later this year? Maybe I will, or maybe I’ll wait for even better deal to come my way. One thing’s for sure, though: I will cruise again, because there’s no better way to see the world (except the interior bits).
IT’S RAINING ME!
According to a copy of Brisbane News I was reading at a coffee shop the other day, the city is undergoing a “man drought”. Women are, it says, having trouble finding a partner because females outnumber males in this city. The article suggests women consult an app or an introduction agency, which simply aren’t for everyone. I’m wondering: exactly how it is that people meet? Where does one go, and how does one signal their availability without being creepy?
WHAT’S GOING ON?
There’s always something going on in the Brisbane CBD. Exactly what this photo shoot in Anzac Square last Friday was all about, I do not know.
ILL-INFORMED CRITICISM
Last week’s item about the Brisbane media identity who took to a famous playwright with a theatre program prompted some interesting responses. Among the usual demands to name names (which I’m not going to do here, because the culprit has moved on) was another anecdote that I’d forgotten. That was the one about the stand-in newspaper reviewer who tore into a play with particular attention to the second act even though, as my correspondent noted, “everyone in the audience knew [the reviewer] had buggered off to the bar and missed it”.
ERRATUM
Thanks to Adele (not that one) for pointing out that the people behind the steering wheel of Didi vehicles are drivers, not “divers” as I stated last week. In my defence, perhaps some of them are both.
THINGS TO DO
+ Tickle your own funny bones by attending a comedy gig. Both the Brisbane Comedy Festival and the Sit Down Comedy Fringe are under way. Events to look out for in coming days: Politics in the Pub on Feb 27, Jonathan Pie (above) on Feb 28 (currently sold out, but you never know …), both at the Brisbane Powerhouse, and regular Sit Down Up Late gigs hosted by Kat Davidson at the Paddo Tavern.
+ Get your tickets to one of the Ben Folds gigs with the Queensland Symphony Orchestra at the Concert Hall on March 11 and 12.
+ Experience QGOMA’s Water exhibition with music and circus performances. Buy tickets now for March 20 and 21, or both nights.
+ Check this thing out at movinbed.com:
+ Book ahead for the Festival of Outback Opera at Mt Isa from June 26-28, and the Australian Festival of Chamber Music in Townsville from July 31 to August 9.
Great diverse articles Mr Brisbane