Mister Brisbane: Spring fever
Toad territory | Not-so-sweet charity | Reality rules | Ball games
The westerlies are blowing like crazy as I write this, but there are signs that the weather is on the turn. The days are getting longer; the chattering birds and barking dogs are up earlier; there’s a bright, warm sun in the sky, magpies are starting to swoop on humans, and a patch of bindis has sprung up in the back yard. What else says “spring” to you?
Image: (c) Sam Fraser-Smith, some rights reserved (CC BY)
TOAD BUSTERS
I found a cane toad under the back steps last week. It was a big one and it gave me a shock, even though it did nothing but breathe. They’re quite menacing when they’re all puffed up. I think it’s the second toad I’ve seen all year, which is unusual because they used to be quite common around my neck of the woods. Of course, they haven’t disappeared. The Worldwide Fund for Nature reckons the total toad population in Australia is about 200 million, so they greatly outnumber us, and they are on the march across the continent. These pests that poison and displace native species are all descendants of the original 102 brought in from South America to control cane beetles back in 1935. They had one job and they failed at it, but they still made an irreversible impression.
When I was a boy, it used to be a “thing” to kill cane toads. Children, and some adults, would do terrible things to them, having perverse fun in the name of doing the environment a favour. At one point, somebody suggested a humane way of killing them would be to put them in a plastic bag, then place that bag in the freezer. I don’t know anyone who did this, but I image a lot of people got a shock when they reached in for their ice-cream. Does anybody have any ideas about dealing with cane toads that doesn’t involve cruelty?
Don’t miss the Mister Brisbane radio show with me, Brett Debritz, and Brisbane’s favourite broadcaster, Spencer Howson, on Reading Radio [at 1296 kHz (AM) or on DAB+ in the Brisbane broadcast area, or online here] on Tuesdays at 6.30pm, repeating on Wednesdays at 2pm and Saturdays at 7.15am. You can also listen to it as a podcast here on Podbean or on Tune In and here on Google podcasts or Android devices. Other platforms coming soon.
HAVING A BALL
Just recently, for no particular reason, I recalled that we used to call basketball “indoor basketball” or, as Rae reminded me on Twitter, “American basketball” to distinguish it from the game now called netball. I then remembered that rugby league had a four-tackle until 1971, when it became six. Some googling informed me that, prior to 1967, the game allowed for unlimited tackles. Further back, field goals were worth two points and kicking goals was a much more common way to score. Surprisingly, it took until 1983 for a try to increase in value from three to four points. Oh, and an over in Australia cricket was eight balls until the 1979/80 season, when it changed to six in line with England. In fact, until 1980 there was no specific rule as to how many balls there would be in an over, just a stipulation that the captains agree before the game started.
CHARITY BEGINS…
When my home phone rings it’s often “Nicole” from the NBN, “Daisy” from Telstra or a robotic voice claiming to be from Amazon or Visa. But sometimes it’s an actual person asking for a donation to a real charity. I assume these are the people who used to knock on doors in the old days or hang around the CBD with collection tins, possibly in an unusual costume. I support several charities, but I choose which ones and I do it of my own volition. I’ve been suspicious of callers wanting money ever since an elderly relative of mine was told by someone representing a very well-known Queensland charity that they wanted her to increase her $20 monthly donation to $30. Yes, $240 a year wasn’t enough for them. Suffice it to say that they now get nothing and other, less greedy, charities are better off.
REALITY BITES
I know I’ve been quite negative about “reality” TV in the past. However, the changed circumstances this year have fuelled an addiction to American shows about renovating and collectables on the minor free-to-air television channels. Along with my favourite British food programs — basically anything with Rick Stein, Ainsley Harriott, Jonathan Phang or the Hairy Bikers — my viewing diet now includes the likes of Pawn Stars, Bargain Hunt, Flip or Flop and Beachfront Bargain Hunt. The one problem with these programs is that a lot of them are quite old, because the new episodes are screened first on pay-TV.
Imagine my shock, to discover — spoilers ahead — that the Old Man from Pawn Stars has died and that Tarek and Christina from Flip or Flop are divorced. I know that a lot of what happens on “reality” shows is scripted — but there are times when life gets in the way and changes the narrative. But at least it’s a perverse kind of fun to watch the old episodes and try to work out exactly when the flippers’ marriage started to crumble.
It would be remiss of me to note that home-grown reno show The Block has returned to Channel 9, complete with contestants from Brisbane. And for foodies, Channel 7 has Plate of Origin, starring the nice judges from MasterChef Australia and My Kitchen Rules.
PARIS OR BUST
A travel site I visited proclaims Budapest as the “Paris of the East”, but when I Googled that phrase, Warsaw came up first. According to Wikipedia, Baku, Bucharest, Cairo, Kabul, Lahore, Leipzig, Riga, Shanghai, Saigon, St Petersburg and about a dozen other cities are also known as the “Paris of the East”. So, naturally, I wondered whether anywhere in the world is known as the “Brisbane of the West”. Surprisingly, that phrase did throw up some results on Google, which tells me that the honour goes to Perth. I was hoping for somewhere exotic.
MEANWHILE…
A Facebook friend noted that she had a particular tune running through her head. And now I do, too, and it’s distracting me from what I should be doing. Please don’t share your earworms.
The Brisbane Festival and QPAC are planning to bring live performance back to Brisbane. How will it pan out in the age of coronavirus? Theatre companies in southern states are wondering the same thing.
QPAC is thinking about next year, too. Surely things will be fine by March, 2021, in time for Marty Rhone’s Sir Cliff and I. It’s a tribute to Cliff Richards, including such songs as Devil Woman, Wired for Sound, Young Ones and Summer Holiday, plus Marty’s own hits Mean Pair of Jeans and Denim and Lace.
FEEDBACK
Regarding my item saying footballers should not be excused for bad behaviour but should be treated like the adults they are, Jill remarked: “For sure. I love the game, but for goodness sake...when will they come into the 21st century? Adele wrote: “I agree. Letting them get away with murder isn’t teaching the ‘good kids’ anything about respecting themselves or other. They are taught they can do anything and someone will clean it up for them.”
I also asked what people thought about the axing of Channel 10’s Brisbane news presenters, sackings at Nova and the slow demise of local media in general. Kathy noted: “I prefer local news but I get all my news from the internet now.” Lyndall wrote: “I think local news (TV, radio, papers) and local TV celebrities helped create a sense of community.” Jill said: “Of course it matters! We won’t get local news at all, Southern stories will take precedence. Imagine how regional centres feel...completely forgotten! Thank goodness for local radio.”