Mister Brisbane: The B list
Naming names and my welcome to the dark side
When I worked for newspapers, every so often somebody would come up with the idea that we should nominate an “A list” of the city’s “movers and shakers” (or whatever the then-current term was). The exercise required a bunch journalists, most of whom move in ridiculously small circles, to nominate the people they thought worthy of such recognition.
The final list inevitable ended up being full of the professional contacts and personal friends of the people who were doing the nominating. Any resemblance between that list and an actual objective survey of those who had risen to prominence through their status in the city of Brisbane, state of Queensland or nation of Australia was purely coincidental. And, of course, it is arguable that there should be no such list at all as there really are no elite, better-than-the-rest-of-us people, just privileged ones.
The same is true of the “social” pages of the paper — and I say that as someone who has both edited such pages and appeared in them (or, in recent times, their online equivalent). Suffice it to say that to get on such a list, physical attractiveness and/or having friends in the media are the main criteria. I qualified on one of those counts; I’ll let you decide which.
Anyway, as a social experiment, I’ve decided to compile not an A list, but a B list, where the B stands for Brisbane. I’m seeking your nominations for people who are really deserving of being ranked first among the citizenry. Please, don’t submit the usual suspects; be creative.
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SWITCHING SIDES
I changed my voter registration a month or two back and I’ve recently received a letter from my new MP. Among other things, she says: “On behalf of our local community I would like to welcome you to Brisbane’s Southside”. So I guess that makes it official. For the first time in my life, I live south of the Brisbane River. Well, that’s not entirely true, but I think Sydney is so far south that it hardly counts.
Update: That was a few days ago. Since then, I have also received a phone call from the MP’s office repeating the welcome and urging me to let them know if there’s anything they can do for me. I suppose a sizeable government grant for no particular reason is out of the question.
REMAINS NAMELESS
I took a drive to Toowoomba, basically to avoid being at home when the landlord’s representative came around to judge me and how I live. Also, I used to live in Toowoomba, so there was a touch of nostalgia involved. Anyway, along the way I noted that the stretch of the Warrego Highway between Riverside and Withcott is now called Darren Lockyer Way (and has been since 2011). I think I already knew that, but I was a bit taken aback when I saw all the signs.
Now, Darren Lockyer was (checks notes) a very fine footballer and it’s OK with me that they’ve named something after him. But 80 kilometres of motorway seems quite a lot — especially when there are deserving people who have nothing named after them. One who comes to mind is the late Alan Edwards, founding artistic director of what was the Queensland Theatre Company (and briefly the Royal Queensland Theatre Company) and is now Queensland Theatre. Various efforts to have a venue named in his honour have failed. I’m sure there are many other people from all walks of life who deserve to have something named after them, just as there are many places that are unnamed or inadequately named. Over to you.
LOVE LINES
I know my collection of chat-up lines garnered from online dating sites has a perverse following, so here are a few more:
“If your girlfriend calls you at night to come, will you come?”
“Don’t talk to me if u are a bad guy... I want genuine real man.”
“Do you like fast driving?”
“If I were making a film, what would it be about?”
“I believe in long term relationship because happiness is not the only thing in life!”
FEEDBACK
On putting the cat out, Cathy writes: “In the 70s we had two cats which came and went, day or night. It resulted in dead birds and lizards and injuries from cat fights (despite the fact that they were neutered). Fast forward to now, my daughter’s two cats live indoors. They are happy and healthy, the wildlife is safe, and the thought of them being outside unless on a lead just horrifies me. How times have changed.”
About Uncle Sam in a can, Nick says: “I remember reading somewhere that products like Uncle Sam were designed for a big hit, gimmicky sales, and never again. Must be part of a bigger company that can afford to rebrand something that they already sell I suppose.”
In reference to Warana, Mandy writes: “I'll never forget my cousin Tom arriving from England, so my sister and I took him to see the Warana Parade. As usual, traffic was rooted and the parade was at a stand-still. So we walked along past the stationary parade, and saw all the floats and performers, most notably PNG tribespeople in traditional dress, and our disabled community wearing day of the dead gear. We made out that this was our custom down under, the parade stands still and the spectators walk the length.”