Mister Brisbane: UnAustralian
Why do we embrace stereotypes that come from abroad?
I’ve spent almost a quarter of my life living in or visiting countries other than Australia, so I know a little about the way the traveller/expatriate mind works. One thing of which I have occasionally been guilty, but still amuses me about others, is how many Aussies abroad turn into Australian caricatures.
Let loose in a foreign land, the otherwise quite, unassuming person will be the one standing on a table in a bar in Bangkok screaming the words to Khe Sahn, or drinking Foster’s (a faux Australian lager*) and singing Monty Python’s Philosophers’ Song (a British parody of Australian culture) in an Earls Court pub in London.
As a consequence, I usually took it as a compliment when I met somebody who said I didn’t seem Australian.
*Yes, I know the original Foster’s was brewed in Melbourne, but very few Australians ever drank it. The one they drink in the UK was conceived in the marketing department.
FORMERLY FAMOUS
If I asked you to name a Brisbane hairdresser, you’d probably think of either the person who does your own hair, or Stefan. Does anybody else remember Raymond of Brisbane? From memory, his TV show pre-dated Stefan’s, making him the original Brisbane celebrity hairdresser. Who else used to be synonymous with their profession but has been forgotten over the years?
P.S. Of course, I had to go to Google after writing this and I discovered, largely from an old Courier-Mail profile, that Raymond’s full name was Theo Raymond and he had salons in the Regent Theatre as well as the Crest and Lennons Hotels, and yes he did have a television show, called Head Start to Beauty, which ran on Channel O (the predecessor to Channel 10) for 14 years.
PLAY TIME
I asked a friend what she had done on the weekend, and she said she’d played golf with her parents. I didn’t know she was a golfer, so I asked: “Are you good at it?” Her reply: “No, but I enjoy it so much that I play anyway.” My off-the-cuff response was, “Well, I suppose we all like something we’re not very good at.”
The more I think about it, the truer it seems. I can think of a lot of things I love to do despite my lack of skill. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cartoonist, despite my inability to draw, and then a musician, despite my tin ear. It didn’t stop me doodling or warbling, probably to the great annoyance of others. In my teenage years, I briefly convinced myself I was an excellent tenpin bowler, but that simply was not the case. I’m not sure what my opposite-of-a-superpower is now. Perhaps it’s up to others to let me know. What’s yours?
TUNING OUT
Thanks to everybody who contacted me regarding the end of the radio show/ podcast. Some of you are wondering what’s next. Well, I have a couple of ideas but they involve collaboration with others, more resources and, to be honest, more time than have to devote to them now. Rest assured that, like MacArthur, I shall return.
CODE READ
I’m sure I’m not the first to notice this. Perhaps I’m the last. Some products at my local supermarket now carry QR codes rather than barcodes. I guess that’s the way of the future. Until this point, I gather, many people have only encountered them via the Check-In app for COVID contract tracing.
CHOKO UPDATE
My item about uses for chokos generated a lot of responses on social media. Among them:
Scott: “Spud guns?”
Sheena: “Mulching.”
Susan: “Land fill.”
Jess: “My Grandma used to do chokos baked with cheese sauce — like you do with cauliflower and broccoli — delicious.”
Daniel: “I used to hit them over the neighbour’s fence with a cricket bat when I was a kid. well, what was left of them. a lot turned into a wet mist that ended up on the back fence.”
Ally: “I remember when Andrew Denton interviewed Jamie Oliver on Enough Rope and he gave Jamie a choko and he took a bite out of it. Someone in the audience described it as dunny fruit as it was typically grown on the outside toilet.”
Lyn: “My mum used to make pickles using chokos. Note: peel them under running water.”
Trina: “I saw them in Woolies last weekend and shuddered.”
Brendon suggests eating them “steamed with a healthy dob of butter, salt and pepper”.
Claire: “They are fabulous sliced and grilled or chopped up and baked with other vegetables and served with roast chicken. They take up flavours so you can sprinkle turmeric or other spices you like on them to create colour and flavour. You can also make a fabulous chutney.”
Jill: “They are coming back. I hear they are delicious roasted...and in stir fry. I’m still on the fence, like a choko vine!”
Richard: “Chokos are brilliant. Always have been.”
Giulio: “My parents used to grow it, I found it so bland. [My son] was keen on trying once, so we cooked it two ways. So bland.”
Dennis: “In my day my mother used to say if you have to buy chokos you haven't got enough friends. We had them steamed with butter.”
Lisa: “Brings back horrendous memories of Sunday lunch at grandparents house. Grandmother was an awful cook - burnt peas, mashed pumpkin that spread across the plate, dry as a boot lamb chop and the good old boiled, tastless choko. Choko tastes like nothing. That's why it usually comes slathered with cheese sauce. You can keep your choko growing over the thunderbox, thanks all the same.”
Adele: “They are really yummy roasted.”
Jan: “Have made them with bacon and blue vein cheese crumbled through!”
Brian: “Ugliest fruit ever.”
(OTHER) FEEDBACK
Christine on smells that take you back to a time and a place: “Nose worms! I have a few... my favourite, though, is the original Chapstick — smells exactly as the Cloudland Ballroom used to do for school dances, initially, and then concerts — Aussie Crawl and the Angels, most memorably. I always have one in my pocket (a Chapstick, not an Aussie Crawl or an Angel!)”
To the question, “have you ever had a noseworm”, Bernice replies: “Absolutely.”
Walter says the “smell of lantana” takes him back.
From Bernie: “You mentioned the old Homestead Hotel at Zillmere (I think there is a small Homestead Tavern on site these days) and I recall a couple of good nights there ... first, a concert by British pop singer Helen Shapiro (remember the deep voice) and then a boxing night where one of the fighters decked the referee as he was leaving the ring.”
UP AND AWAY
I’m off to Cairns for a few days. And, to be honest, I’m a little nervous about getting on to a plane for the first time in more than two years. That seems really weird, since I have so many flying hours under my belt. In any case, I’m thinking about catching the train back. Any advice about things to do in the far north gratefully received.