Mister Brisbane: Who put the cat out?
Cruisin', lovin' and rememberin'. And why not bring back Warana?
My grandfather died when I was 8, so I don’t remember him well. But I do remember a story my Dad used to tell about his father’s way of letting house guests know it was time to go home. First he’d wind the clock, then he’d put the cat out and, if they hadn’t taken the hint, he’d say: “Well, I don’t know about you people, but I’ve got work to do in the morning…”
The reason I remembered that story is that there’s a discussion on my social-media feed about cats. A friend of mine has been adopted by a street cat, and is wondering whether it’s a good idea to bring the animal indoors. His idea was to let the cat roam during the day, but keep it indoors overnight. One of his friends suggested that he do the reverse — keep it indoors in daytime and let it out to roam at night. I noted that this would be regarded as irresponsible behaviour in Australia, where cats kill native species.
As my father’s anecdote illustrates, “putting the cat out” used to be a thing. I know why it changed, but when did it change? When did we pet owners (or most of us) become more aware of the damage our pets can do to the environment?
Tune in to the Mister Brisbane radio show on Reading Radio at 1296AM and on DAB+ in Brisbane at 6.30pm on Tuesday nights. It’s also available as a podcast. Just search for “Mister Brisbane” on your favourite player or follow this link.
CRUISIN’ FOR A BRUISIN’
I must’ve jinxed myself last week when I said that two out of three cruises I’d booked this year had been cancelled. The very next day after writing that, I got word that the third one — my Christmas cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas, had also been nixxed. Nice going, COVID-19. As the Cruise Line Industry Association’s Joel Katz told 4BC recently, the operators want to get back into business — for example, by running cruises from Brisbane, up the Queensland coast and back, with only Queenslanders on board — but the federal government won’t let them.
Seems like the only cruising I’ll be doing in the near future is on the Brisbane River.
P.S. After reading my item from last week, Trevor says: “Cruising not looking good. Been watching a few YouTube video bloggers who are blogging from new cruises out of the UK. Lot of checking. Daily saliva and temperature tests. Passengers must stay in your cabin if any virus is suspected. Only balcony cabins available for this reason.”
That doesn’t seem too bad to me.
OLD-SCHOOL FUN
For some reason, an old Facebook group with the self-explanatory title “Bring Back Warana” has received some fresh attention in the past few days. I imagine the release of the program for the Brisbane Festival, which evolved out of Warana, has rekindled some memories. I know the most recent festival did have some cul-de-sac performances, but I stick by my assertion that Brisbane lost something when the community-focused Warana was replaced by what is essentially an arts festival with a fireworks display tagged on to it. Sure the Warana street parade was a bit cheesy, but it involved people at the grassroots level, which the current festival does not.
SWEET WORDS
Those online dating profiles are the gift that keep giving. Here’s what some of the women had to say to me:
“Send me your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.”
“Do you know that the angel came to me in the dream, in the form of you?”
“You believe that love can make health better, cure any disease and make people happy forever?”
“Well-behaved people never make history, right? Are you a man who makes history on your own?”
“Is going shopping with a girl a punishment for you or a pleasure?”
“Do you like to sleep with turn on or turn off light in room?”
“I'm more tea than coffee, winter than summer, sea than a pool, paper than scissors. So do not butter me, I’m a jam girl ?”
“How do you feel about songs with bad words?”
“Can you give me some tips and advice on how to attract a man like you?”
“Hi sweetie, have you ever loved a woman? Describe this.”
“What is the best and worst thing about being a man?”
And, for some reason, on several sites most of women I’ve looked at list their occupation as “Transportation, Distribution and Logistics”. Some kind of code, perhaps?
I also discovered that at least one dating site quoted three different monthly prices, depending on whether I was or was not using a VPN, or whether I used the app. The app price was the cheapest — and less than half that of the non-VPN option. Arguably, the app was also the most secure way of doing it, because the payments go through either Google Play or Apple App Store and the subscription can be cancelled through those services, too.
WHO’S YOUR UNCLE?
On the subject of advertising songs and slogans, Cathy says:
They don’t make jingles like they used to. So many ads seem to present a ‘story’ and often don’t even mention the product till right at the end. Not like these gems:
How can you be sure there are no white ants in the floor, borers in the door, silverfish galore, get a Flick man, that’s your answer, remember one Flick and they’re gone.
Or: You need Uncle Sam, you need Uncle Sam, let’s get together with the stars and stripes can, it’s the perfect connection for fellas and girls, and under your arm is the top of the world.
I defy you to not be singing them right now. #earworms
Cathy is right, but it also reminded me of one important thing: everyone of my generation remembers the ad and the song for Uncle Sam deodorant, but it would appear that not many of us bought the product. It ceased to exist a long time ago. There’s a lesson there, somewhere.
FEEDBACK
On youth crime, Jill writes: “Sad and confronting for the shop owners. They [the young offenders] probably won’t realise what they’ve done until years from now, when they have built something themselves.”
Walter says: “… unfortunately a lot of them show no remorse and just don’t care about anyone but themselves. It all starts at home. Parents need to step up and parent, which means saying NO more often than YES!”
And several people insist that the correct pronunciation of the Brisbane suburb of Salisbury is “Sols-bree”.