Despite filling in over the past few weeks, former top-rating presenter Spencer Howson will not be returning permanently to the Breakfast shift on 612 ABC Brisbane.
Howson — who will complete a stint as summer fill-in host on Tuesday — rejected claims made in a weekend publication that ABC management was unhappy with the current show hosted by Craig Zonca and Loretta Ryan, and that he “could be tempted back to the microphone if timing allows”.
He told me exclusively: “It’s not happening. They might convince me to do some more filling in, but I won’t be returning to my old job full-time.
“I feel for Craig and Loretta. Any such speculation is unhelpful and upsetting.”
Stars of the future?
My recent post about Dom Fay and Zach Mander attracted a lot of attention, including this Facebook comment from a chap called Kip Wightman, who knows a thing or two about radio: “These boys are great talent! there’s got to be a national drive show slot for them somewhere soon?”
As I predicted, Mander and Fay did share the studio between their two separate shows on 612 ABC Brisbane on Saturday morning, and here’s some of what they had to say:
If you want to hear both shows in full, visit the ABC website here.
Let’s re-invent AFL
I know it’s the time of year when the football action is off the field, rather than on it, but I’m really not interested in regurgitating scandal and intruding on marital disharmony.
Instead, I’m asking:
Is Australian rules football — as my friend from Minsk once told me, after making it almost to three-quarter time of a Lions fixture at the Gabba before asking if we could leave — “the most ridiculous game”?
Sports fans may be aghast at this thought.
But before you make judgement, bear in mind that the national sports in her home country, Belarus, are ice-hockey and biathlon: a combination of skiing and target shooting which is (mostly) fast moving and involves small explosions. What’s not to like about that?
I tell this story because, while backing up some old websites that are about to expire, I came across my comments about the 2010 AFL grand final — which, despite lasting the usual three hours, failed to produce a result and had to be replayed the following weekend.
Let’s start with the already obvious: despite me having a small trophy noting my (very minor) participation in the Golden Valley Under 9s team in the third quarter of the 20th Century, I’m not a huge fan of the Australian game. In fact, I still struggle to understand the rules.
In my books, only American football is more boring.
At the time, I wrote:
While some people are obviously over the moon about the non-result in the AFL Grand Final, to me it highlights one of the many flaws of Australian football. To think that a game can go on for so long with no result is ridiculous in the instant-gratification 21st Century.
And that’s why I have decided to announce the launch of Extreme Australian Football, a new sport with rules that will please the diehard fans along with the people who just couldn’t be bothered dedicating an entire afternoon to watch one game…
Here’s what I have come up with so far:
+ Two 25-minute halves
+ Non-stop play. The game goes on regardless. When a ball goes out of touch, another is thrown in straight away.
+ One five-minute multiball session per half; with five balls on the field and all goals and points counted. (Think pinball.)
So, would the EAF fly? Can you think of other rules that might make it more entertaining?
Or is it perfectly OK as it is, and I’m the one who’s wrong here?
Let me know!
Mister Brisbane is free to read but you if you really like it, you
can buy me a coffee or take out a paid subscription.
P.S.
I plan to write more about community theatre in Brisbane soon. For now, I’ll just say that I’m particularly impressed by those groups that have kept on going over many years, presenting an alternative to mainstream professional theatre and giving many thousands of people the joy of watching, and participating in, live performance. Among those enduring companies is the Villanova Players, which has been around since 1948! Villanova’s next scheduled production is The Vicar of Dibley. Yes, based on the TV show, but presumably without Dawn French, who is otherwise engaged.
Disclosure: Brett Debritz was a frequent guest on Spencer Howson’s program in the early 2000s, and produced his Weekend show on 4BC for a little over a year.
EAF sounds like the AFL equivalent of Big Bash cricket.